The label “Infertile” can be a tough cross to bear. We know that with that label comes all the torture: peeing on sticks, painful shots, invasive procedures, doctor bills, and months or years of waiting. But, if you’re lucky, you take home a happy, healthy bundle of joy. And that should be it, right?
Sometimes, the burden of infertility still stings, long after you are beyond that time in your life.
When it comes to parenting, it is HARD work! There is no way around that truth. Just because you experienced infertility to have your child doesn’t mean parenting gets any easier. Hopefully, infertility taught you good coping skills to manage those tough days with a child. Hopefully, it taught you to be gentle with yourself. Hopefully, it taught you the importance of a strong support system. Just like with infertility, we need to lean on those around us to get us through the rough days and to take it easy on ourselves through the journey.
Then, even on a good parenting day, you are sometimes blind-sided with infertility when you weren’t expecting it.
It could be watching that opening montage in Up with your child, or it could be the unexpected infertility reference on a sitcom, or it could be yet another pregnancy announcement. No matter where it comes from, the unexpected visceral response can catch you off guard. What you need to know is that this is NORMAL. Its ok to feel your feelings. Its ok to cry. Its ok to share your feelings with someone you trust (who may or may not understand these feelings). The most important thing is to recognize the feelings, accept them, and let them go.
In the end, you’ve been through a difficult journey. You might even have a little post-traumatic stress, and could benefit from seeing a counselor. But, for most of us, these “infertility waves” hit us now and again, and we manage our feelings on our own. Remember that these feelings are normal. Reach out to your support system. Give yourself a hug for getting through the difficult journey. And try to send good thoughts into the universe for people still on the wrong side of the infertility path.